An entry for Jenn
Thursday, Jun. 10, 2004 at 11:06 a.m.
I don't nessecarily agree with what Joe said about not needing friends as you go through life. I think ties are important as well. Maybe it's just that your friends change because they do, or you do, or both. I already went through it with most of my good friends... we're just all in different places, doing different things, and the ties that bonded us together are weak compared to what else we have going on in our lives... I would never give up on you. Am I hurt by your sudden insight about us not really having a friendship? You bet. But it doesn't make me love you any less, or make me want to drop out of your radar, either. You're busy, I'm busy. We're stressed. Maybe it was wrong of me to get so irked over not being able to talk to you, but then again, maybe I've taken it a little bit for granted that you're always there for me...No, I don't think you know Joseph well enough to pass judgement, 'cause alot of the stuff I write is either when I'm really happy, or really annoyed. But your opinion of the situation doesn't hurt me - I'm glad you're willing to say what's on your mind finally! You're more than entitled to your opinion, as is anyone, and I would never hold that against you. But what it comes down to is that nobody's opinion really matters all that much in the way of relationships. Yes, blessings are somewhat important, but it's my choice to be with him, and with that choice I accept the load of good times that we have, and the handful of bad things that inevitably come, regardless.
I don't want to 'lose touch'. And I don't understand exactly what you mean about the 'kind' of best friendship we kindled. I don't really know what I think about much of anything right now, but maybe after Spain you'll come back with a new perspective and refreshed from your journeys, and I won't be miserable with school and work and being broke.
I've never really thought of you as a 'best friend' anyway.. Always more of a sister. 'Cause even with the handful of spats we've gotten in over the years, there's developed this bond and an unconditional love and admiration for the person you are, and the person you want to be. I've only really had that with one other female friend, Megan, from OH, who was my best friend in grammar school, and who's wedding I'll be a bridesmaid in this coming Fall. Her and I literally went years without talking... at the very least many months in between emails/letters/visits/etc... and yet today we're still at a level of extreme closeness, even though we aren't in ourselves THAT close, because of the bond we formed so many years ago.
Is that getting too philosophical or something? Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead. Bottom line: Do what you need to do. I'm not going to forget about you or 'hate you forever' because of a few differences that we might have. Variety is the spice of life, isn't it?
Much Love,
YjaxieY
