A weird night

Wednesday, May. 19, 2004 at 6:24 a.m.

Yes, you're reading that right. It's not even 6:30am yet. And I'm at work. =( Had to drop my car off at the dealership early this morning, and instead of going to the lot to wait for the bus with Mom, she just dropped me off so I could hang out... so I'm hanging. Got a half hour to kill before I'm on the clock.

Yesterday was.. interesting, to say the least. A crazy, crazy day. I spent the first half obsessing over money and debating whether or not to ask Joe if he can help me out with my books for my first session. He has a $1200 check from the musical, but he needs $800 for 2 months rent, and almost $200 for when he got his car fixed recently. Still, even if he can help out with half, that's less I'll have tot ask Mom for. I'm hoping to not have to ask her for anything. 'Cause if my car costs anything to get fixed, I don't know if I'll be able to.

Got my tire fixed after work, then went out to Joe's. I was in a bad mood from the get-go, from the money situation, as well as him being a jerk on the phone because I didn't A) go by myself to get my tire fixed (no money) and B) we brought it to Wal-Mart to have it done. I know he hates the automotive department there, but all they were doing was plugging a tire, not doing major work. Shit, if I had the materials, *I* could probably plug a tire. So whatever.

It was Mama B's birthday yesterday, so after that got fixed I headed up to Joe's and we went to Jessie's for a little dinner. Very nice. =) Erica and Phil were there, and they brought Sierra - I still can't believe how tiny she is!! (She's 4 weeks old as of yesterday) I got to hold her twice (after much coaxing from Mama B and Erica, 'cause she's so tiny I'm STILL afraid I might break her!) and the second time she fell asleep right on my shoulder.. Wow. I can't describe what an incredible feeling that was, to know that this precious, defenseless baby was cozying up to me and fell asleep with her sweet little baby face turned towards me... I'm in no hurry to have any of my own mind you, even though I love the girls and baby Jason to death. But still.. an incredible feeling. I'm starting to kind of really get a sense of what motherhood might be all about, even though I won't know until it happens. =)

We hung out for a while with Jessie and Phil while Erica, Mama B, and Val and Chel went to Val's school for open house. Jessie and Joe started to get into a discussion regarding Mama B and their Aunt and the vacant house... Um, really long debate, you might know the details but if not, that's cool. ((Basically what it boils down to is this: Mama B and the Aunt are co-owners of Nana's house. Nana has been gone 2 years now. Aunt has serious control issues, and even though Mama B's house is literally about ready to fall down, Aunt won't go about the paperwork to get Mama B in there because she can't let go and move on. Nor does Aunt was Joe's stuff in there because she said it's "nobody's house", and yet she lets her son park his car and his boat over there.)) *ahem* Anyhow, that led to conversations about how rotten Mr. B was to Mama B, and what a dick he is, and how Joe's worried about leaving his mom there with him when he moves out, etc.

Joseph was livid on the way home from there. I left to come home right after we got back to his place, since I knew he just needed some time to chill out. On the way home, I get a call from him that Elvin Jones passed away. (One of his teachers had called to inform him) Elvin is a VERY famous jazz drummer, one of Joe's ultimate idols, and he's been very sick recently, so it wasn't unexpected... He was very broken up about it, because he had been wanting so badly to take me to watch Elvin play, and the last chance we had was right after he had broken his ankle, so we weren't able to go. *sigh* Sad.

So I make it home and give him a call to check on him, and I find out he's gotten into a fight with Mama B. (Basically telling her to stand up to the Aunt and try to get the paperwork going because their house was close to falling down and he didn't want her in it when it did, etc) I called him back before I went to bed, and Mama B answered but said he'd have to call me back and hung up, while I could hear Joe yelling in the background. Turns out he layed into his father (verbally, not physically) about what a piece of crap he was, and how he doesn't do anything, etc. Then he went to town on him about calling me a bitch when I'd walk by, which his father denied, saying he was probably saying it to the TV, which is a load of BS and Joe knows that, and told him so... It made me feel good that he stuck up for me to his father. Everything was just a long-time coming, I guess. Now that Joe is moving away in a little less than 2 weeks, he's saying/doing what he needs to in order to feel at peace with himself. Which is fine with me.

OK, so this got long awfully quick, didn't it? I'm sorry. In all, it was a much better night than day. I ended the night by getting to talk to my Joseph, and he was being really sweet and lovey and that just made everything seem like it would be OK. So I woke up in a halfway decent mood. =)

Today should be interesting. Guess I'll just wait to see how my car turns out. I might even go to Westchester with Joe for his final lesson, if he can switch it to 5. (If not, I won't be able to) So we'll see... As long as today is better than yesterday, I should be alright. =)

That's it. Really. You can go now. =)

Much Love,
YjaxieY

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